The Coming of the Fapocalypse

**Warning: extremely plagiaristic of both biblical prosy and Satyricon**

“And I looked, and behold a fallacious shade of blue:
And his name that banished all virtue was Jeff Fayhey
and Hell followed with him. And power was given
unto him over the fourth part of the earth,
to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death,
and with the beasts of the earth”.

And then again “I saw and beheld, a righteous shade of blue;
And he that sat on there had a mop of blonde hair; And a crown
was given unto him and he went forth conquering, and he was Jeff Fahey.
And there was a great earthquake, and the sun became blue
as a sackcloth of Lawnmower Man DVDs, and the moon became as bluestone.

And the stars of heaven fell unto the earth,
even as detective Jack Whitfield sketches,
when he is conferred of a mighty case. And the heaven
departed as a scroll when it is rolled together,
and every mountain and island were moved out of their places.”
Almighty mountains and rocks, I beg you fall on abhorrent Fayhey.

For the great day of wrath is coming, and who shall be able to stand the Fapocalypse?