Thursday, November 24, 2005

The Fahey Prayer

The Fahey Prayer was first concocted by Benedictine Faheyists in the late 14th century. Solemcess Boniface was the monk to actually pen the words, but as we all know the words really came from deep within Fahey, whose soul permeates us all.

Through the centuries the prayer has remained a constant routine in the monasteries of Faheyian monotheism. Only at the beginning of the twentieth century was the lament to escape its monasterial confines and is now known by almost all citizens of western culture.

Witness this wonderful Faheyian verse in all its naked virtue here:

All ears who rest open, who art in the fields round the back of my house,
Hallowed be thy Fahey.
Thy kingdom of Parker Kane hath come,
Thy will be smacked in the scrot,
On earth as it is in Die Darkman Die.
Give us this day our daily feast of blonde Jobiality.
Forgive us our excursions into Fayhey mentality,
As we forgive those who Fayheyise against us.
And lead us not into the tri-tones of the Fayhey scale,
But deliver us with a redeeming watch of The Lawnmower Man.
Amen.

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