“Tell us about Scorpius Gigantus” the seven brides of Fahey yelled at me. “I really don’t know that much, you gotta believe me!” I replied. “Tell us all you know or we’ll make cravats out of your eyes.” What could I do? I didn’t want to do all my seeing from the neck regions of a group of nihilistic savages, with hair streaked with the blonde of Fahey, baying for innate answers to life’s very profundities.
What did I know? I recalled for them in all its pristine virtue the IMDB’s plot outline, as seen here:
Geneticist seeks to make a name for herself by saving the planet from disease by using eons-old antibodies, harvested from enlarged six legged creatures. The creatures don’t like being big and escape. Send for help.
‘Fuck your bigness’ the creatures were probably thinking. Would a simple disambiguation equate ‘creatures’ to scorpions? Perhaps, but I didn't dare risk it for fear of the brides giving me the stink eye with their blue-contact-lensed eyes.
The cast list is headed by none other than that mastodonic and rectitudinous cream of
So there we go, that’s about all the knowledge I have on the flick. I seem to remember it being connected to the Sci-Fi Channel, or that might have just been a dream. I’m sure it’ll be a sleeper hit when eventually released, with Jeff Fahey starring how could it not!?!
I’d imagine being a Fahey flick it’ll continue his ceaseless existential investigations, why this one may even have ecological analyses of life, and I’d assume there’ll be a scene where Fahey is forced to get all Darwinian on those pesky scorpions.