Friday, October 28, 2005

The Principles of Fahology

Fahology is an exciting new field of academic research and study that aims to identify trends located within theoretical discourse on blue hue and celestial blonde hair.

Due to the unsurpassed scale of Jeff Fahey there needs to be entire academic fields dedicated to each syllable, thus we have Fahology.

Fahology is the study of the Fah aspect of Jeff Fahey, in accordance with stipulations established by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology’s outline on Faheyian treatises. Despite its relatively recent conception, strains of teachings on the ‘Fah’ can be traced back to Socrates, he is often cited as alluding to the subject during diatribes on piety.

A set of tangible principles have been erected to guide all eventual students of Fahology (for we know they will come in their hordes), the following are the fundamentals of it:

    • Blue is the colour, and the colour is blue, never will the colour not be blue, and the colour will never be one other than blue
    • All existentialist aspects in research arise from the character Michael Dobie in The Sculptress (2000)
    • Never must a student of the Fah contemplate conversion to the Fay
    • Never must a student of the Fah ponder the delicacies of the wild Jobe hair
    • Never must a student of the Fah take thy Jeff’s name in vain
    • Study of Extramarital (1999) in an Ontological context is compulsory
    • Lethal Tender aka Deadly Currents (1997) t-shirts must be bought by students prior to term time, and students are required to wear them at all classes
    • Key text: Genghis Gert, (2003) “Fah: a whirlwind journey into the history of all matter and energy
    • Trips to Olean, New York must be made in compliance with Sugarcoat’s study of the ‘topography of a Fah’
    • Any students attempting to reach the deepest recesses of the Fah via a medium will be thoroughly punished
    • Those students wishing to bring their own copy of Sketch Artist 2: The Hands That See (1992) may do so, however pristine DVD editions complete with interactive menu will be made available free of charge

    Have a good time, and remember Fahey is always with you.


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